So, you know—;

Goldfish aren’t even remotely golden. Not even in that lame way that we’re supposed to believe that certain crappy shades of yellow are somehow the color of gold. They should just be called Orangefish, if you ask me.

Of course, I have no particular reason for choosing this exact moment to point this out—except that I’m not doing a whole lot else just now, and besides it’s something I’ve been meaning to mention since I was, like, nine.

(Speaking of gold and childhood, those metallic crayons in the big box from Crayola were always a big disappointment as well—sort of impressively shiny-looking in stick form, but left merely a faint non-sparkly smudge on paper. I suppose I was looking for a more convincing gold-leaf effect. But that’s a story for another day.)

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